Heather Strang | Love Blog
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Love Blog

It was to be the “happiest” day of my life.

I had just married the man I believed to be the love of my life.

And I was sure, absolutely, positively sure that I had made the right decision.

Then, the wedding night arrived. And because I had been raised to be a “good” Fundamentalist Christian (more on that in the future), we had waited to have sex until our glorious wedding night.

I had even purchased Victoria’s Secret lingerie for this exact moment.

I couldn’t wait, I was finally to be celibate no more!

And then.

And then, it was the absolute worst sex ever. So bad, even I, as inexperienced as I was, knew that I was in serious trouble. Worse yet, he didn’t seem to notice that it was quite possibly the most radically terrible sex ever had by two human beings on the planet.

I’ll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, on the plane ride back from our destination wedding, my hands gripped the arm rests, my eyes bulging out of my head in horror while he slept idly in the seat next to me.

What. In. The. Mother. Hell. Was. I. Going. To. Do.

Well, I did what any inexperienced, young wife would do. I worked desperately to create an enjoyable sexual connection with the man who was now my husband. This was especially difficult because he unfortunately did not think there was anything wrong with the sex we were — infrequently — having. However, I pushed on, determined that somehow, someway I could make the sex between us better.

Two and a half years later and the jig was up.

I was exhausted and stopped trying. He discovered he did not want to be married anymore.

And this — from start to finish — became one of the biggest gifts of my life. It caused me to investigate deep within myself what love and sex have to do with life satisfaction and uncover my own incredible realizations on these two very important topics. Realizations that have led me to now support women and couples all around the world in having the hottest sex of their lives.

Here’s some of what I uncovered:

  • The true love of your life never breaks up with you. Ever.
  • You and the love of your life do not require a book full of techniques to create yummy, incredible sex.
  • The love of your life would know if you two had the worst sex ever. And would talk to you about it immediately until there was a dedicated plan in place to heal whatever was at the root of it for both of you.
  • The quality of the sex between two people is a direct reflection of what is happening at a deeper level between one or both parties, and most certainly in the relationship dynamic. The sex between my husband and I was horrendous because there were parts of ourselves we had not healed around intimacy. There were secrets that even we didn’t realize we were keeping from each other that were serving as blocks to a truly deep connection. It wasn’t a problem that could be solved with tantra (although I tried) or increased frequency (yep, tried that too).

Satisfying sexual connection — for both parties — is dependent on a satisfying emotional connection. Yep, I said it. And yes, this is true for womenand for men.

For both people to truly feel sexually satisfied, there must be intimacy on all levels — mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. If there is not, it will show up in the sexual intimacy. If there’s a place we’re holding back emotionally — either partner — it will show up in the quality of the sex. If there are resentments that have not been healed or anger that is simmering — it will show up in the quality of the sex. If there is sexual trauma that is being avoided or repressed by one or both parties — it will show up in the quality of the sex.

Because, when we’re all truly honest with ourselves, what we’re really craving is Soul Sex. Soul Sex is where there is total transparency, intimacy and deep connection. Where both parties are aware, conscious and engaged in their individual and coupled Soul Alignment so that when they come together they are able to show up as authentically and intimately as possible. And when you take that into the bedroom, you better watch out. There’s no special oils, techniques, tips or tricks required. The hottest sex is the sex you’re having by showing up 100 percent as who-you-really-are, with your partner doing the same.

Soul Sex takes a commitment by each person to really know themselves on the deepest levels and to share that within the context of the sacredness of their relationship. It looks differently for each couple, because each couple gets to create what is most satisfying to both of their Souls.

We all deserve deeply conscious, connected, hot, mind-blowing sex. And it’s up to each of us to allow that kind of deep loving connection and partnership into our lives so that we can experience it.

So, are you ready to bring Soul Sex into your life experience? Right now, tap Cortices with a focused intention of allowing Soul Sex into your life and ask to be led to the perfect practitioner/modality/course (i.e. whatever is perfect for you) for that to occur. Next, treat everything that happens from there as a sign. Enjoy! And post your experiences in the comments below or reach out to me to share. We’re all so very ready for this!

Posted by Audrey Gates in Uncategorized Read More

I was terrified. Engaged to the most amazing man I had ever known, my business thriving at levels that exceeded every possible expectation I ever had, and with the release of my first novel The Quest, endorsed by New York Times Bestselling author Gabrielle Bernstein — I clearly had every reason to be terrified.

I officially had everything I ever wanted. Shortly after this realization, I began to find something — anything really — to worry about.

I mean, I couldn’t be this happy. Could I?

And, I’m not alone. I’ve watched for years as my clients have similar experiences. One client lands the jackpot with her business, nearing millions and suddenly she isn’t sure she is marrying the right man. Another client meets the love of her life and suddenly she can’t stop focusing on how “bad” her job is.

We all do it. Because we’re all afraid.

The question is — of what? What is so terrifying about living the life of one’s dreams? What’s so mortifying about experiencing all that we desire (and then some)?

Could it be this — that if we’re happy, if we’re living the magnificent life that we were intended to live, then we’re bound to come face-to-face with this divine truth:

We deserve it. We are worthy. We are more than enough. Thriving is our natural state.

And then what? We all dance off into the sunset living happily ever after?

It would seem that yes, that is in fact what is possible. Only instead of a fuzzy image of the sunset and the closing credits rolling in a film, we are meant to continue the divine living journey. We then go on to uncover new terrains to enjoy, new areas to expand into and new experiences that allow us to live an even more conscious, rich and deep life.

But until we are ready to claim our worth, claim our deserving and know that we are powerful spirit beings in human form who came here to shine, we may continue to sabotage our successful expansion, all because we are too afraid to remember the above.

When we know our worthiness there are no longer any excuses left. We have to live our Soul’s purpose, have to stay connected to other high-vibrating beings, only put high-vibrating food in our mouth and in general, cloth, adorn and shower ourselves with the bright light that we are. Anything less than fabulous will not do for us — in any area of our life.

And while it’s OK to be terrified for a short time, we cannot stop there. We cannot let ourselves systemically sabotage the rightful joy, abundance and pure awesome-ness that we are meant to experience.

So what can you do when you get hit by a case of the sabotage crazies?

• Call yourself on it. See that you are engaged in fear, fear of your worthiness, fear of your divinity, fear of living the life of your dreams. Congratulations. You are human. Now, let’s let it go.

• Tap Cortices as you say, “I am a divine being here for a divine purpose. I now allow myself to live the life of my dreams.” Anytime you catch yourself thinking/speaking fearful thoughts tap and say your mantra.

• Meditate daily. Fifteen to 20 minutes is all you need, but you need it daily to support you in allowing your dreams to continue to manifest, without your fear interference. Spend three to five minutes after visualizing a scene that excites you, something you would love to have occur in your life.

• Receive focused Soul Alignment sessions on this topic so as to release these old fears. There are often many, many layers (from this life and previous ones) that are contributing to the sabotage and fear. Be gentle with yourself and work with a practitioner that you resonate strongly with and trust. Nothing but the best, for the best — remember that.

• Allow yourself to find where in your body this fear is and work with the fear, using your breath to support it in being released. Use this process for releasing stuck emotions.

• Be super loving to yourself. Eat your favorite, high-vibrating foods, wear the clothes that make you feel the most gorgeous and only spend time with people who support and love you. Remembering our worthiness can take some time, so create an environment that supports you fully.

You are not alone on this journey of amazing living and claiming the fullness of your life experience. We are all in this together, and together we can bust through these self-imposed limitations and glass ceilings, and step further into the light of who we really are — magnificent, divine beings.

Posted by Audrey Gates in Uncategorized Read More

2014-09-11-YouAreBeautiful

It’s easy to see what we don’t like in the world — whether it be in government, politics and religion, or in our personal world — at our kids school, our workplace or in our relationship(s). And it’s easy to think that if this guy or that gal would just do ____ (insert your genius idea here), then all would be well in the world — or at least your part of the world.

But what if the onus was on you?
What if you could, right here, right now change not only your world but the collective world for the better?

Sound a little too Pollyanna for you?
Well, before you completely negate this as a possibility, I have a challenge for you.

From today and for the next 30 days, practice one or more of the following (see below) – every single day. Keep a journal; each day briefly jotting down what activities you engaged in, including any new activities that you were inspired to. At the end of the 30 days, reevaluate with a longer journal entry: What is happening in your life that wasn’t happening 30 days ago? What have you learned about yourself and about other people since beginning this practice? What has changed within you and outside of you?

Gandhi didn’t tell us to be the change we wish to see in the world for nothing. And even though changing the world can feel a little too big for even the strongest, biggest human; daily, consistent and some might even say “small” practices are the key to changing anything, including the world.

I promise you, if you commit to and honor this 30-day challenge, your entire world will change, as will what surrounds you. Imagine what would happen if everyone took on this Change the World challenge?

Below are ways that you can support shifting the world, right here, right now today, and everyday:

  • Smile at everyone who passes you on the sidewalk, in the hall, in your home, in your office.
  • Leave notes of encouragement everywhere you go. “I love you!” “You make the world better just by being here.” “You’re beautiful.”
  • Give an additional $5 or more to the barista to pay for the next patron’s beverage. You can do this anywhere you spend money.
  • Always slow and stop your car, so pedestrians can cross the street.
  • Say “please” and “thank you” every chance you get to every human being you interact with.
  • Only make purchases at stores and from people you feel inspired by and whom you believe in.
  • Search the Internet for positive, uplifting stories – share them on your social media.
  • Bake cookies and hand them out at the office or even on the street.
  • Bypass the handshake, go right in for the hug. I often shake my head and say, “Sorry, I’m a hugger.” The responses I receive are awesome. So, go do it, hug it out. Imagine if in every corporate and government setting this was happening. Trans.Form.Ative.
  • Smile and wave at construction workers on the side of the road.
  • Make eye contact with the person at the checkout counter or your mail man/woman. Lean in and ask how their day is going. Listen when they speak.
  • Listen when anyone around you is speaking. The gift of attention and focus is relationship shifting.
  • Only post positive messages on your social media. Make your profile a haven for upliftment and encouragement.
  • Speak only positive words about your life and the world. The world hears you talking and so does your life. When you get hit with the complaining bug, go for a walk or run outside, go dance or do some other form of physical activity.
  • Blow kisses to the people you love.

And that’s just a starter list! There are countless more ways to change the world, but the above is a great starting point. Be sure to post on my Facebook Fan Page what you notice from your involvement in this 30-day challenge, and also post other world changing actions you take on a daily basis to spread the inspiration.

We all have the capacity to make the world a more loving, abundant place. And it needn’t be heavy or hard, it can be simple and yet profoundly transformative. Try it out and see for yourself!

Posted by Audrey Gates in Uncategorized Read More

You are now empowered to go on your own sexy, spiritual romantic Quest with the release of The Quest: A Tale of Desire & Magic in paperback!

 

IMG_3070Kathryn learned that the journey within was paramount to her Quest for The One.

So, in the spirit of Spirit submit a photo of you or someone/something you love with The Quest in your favorite spiritual spot and upload said photo on our Facebook fan page, using hashtag #TheQuestMagic.

Where do you love to connect within? Show us!

For me, it’s out on my patio on the Willamette River – flowers and fairies all around me and the peace of nature enveloping me. It’s here that I connect to my Soul, Spirit and to my Destiny. We can’t wait to see where you connect along with your copy of The Quest!

Contest begins on 9/2 and runs through 11/1 for the 1st place prize, and 12/22 for the other two prizes. The top 3 individuals with the most soul-inspiring spots will win some super Sexy and incredible prizes and will be announced on our Facebook Fan page.

3 Quest-worthy prizes will be awarded.

Congrats Britt W. for winning 1st place:

One winner will receive the Rockstar Package to Heather Strang’s answer to The Quest for Love – Love.Sex.Magic. – A 7-week Soul Series. Value of over $700.*

2nd place:

One winner will receive the Sexy’s Back! Attract True Love Into Your Life Soul Alignment audio, Love meditation, a bottle of blessed The Quest Malbec wine and a signed copy of The Quest.  Value:  $200.

3rd place:

The Quest goodies bag, featuring 1 bottle of The Quest Malbec wine, blessed by Heather along with an assortment of Magic goodies. Value $50

*If you have already entered the Love.Sex.Magic. matrix, you will receive a credit in the amount of the value of the package for future 1:1s and groups.

Posted by Audrey Gates in Tour, Uncategorized Read More

We all want something. I’m not talking about a lox & cream cheese bagel sandwich on a Saturday morning or even that super hot fuchsia dress at the boutique down the street. I’m talking about the big stuff. Our heart’s deepest desires. Whether It’s our dream house, our husband or wife, a fat check and/or our dream work to share with the world.

We may scratch our heads wondering — how the heck do I get to that stuff? But the better question to ask is, how the hell do I allow what I deeply desire to come into my life?

The truth is, the life of your dreams doesn’t happen by chance. It doesn’t even happen by working doggedly hard to experience it. And it isn’t only available to “lucky” people or people who somehow have an “easy” life.

Every single one of us has the opportunity and the ability to experience what our heart longs for throughout our lifetime. As we grow older (or younger as the case may be) and evolve, our desires will do the same, and we will continue to call forth new desires into our lives. And every time, we have the opportunity to experience our desires coming to fruition. Not from luck, not from trying like mad, but because we know something almost no one will admit is true:

There are invisible and divine universal forces all around that are here to support us, and when we tap into this support and make our life a co-creative process — we can live the life of our dreams.

As it turns out, living the life of our dreams is exactly what each one of us came to do. We came here to live the path only we can live while we give the unique gift to the world that only we can give.

Pretty radical, right?

Fortunately there is a three-step process that when applied in the order below can shift anyone into greater alignment with their heart’s desires. Check this out:

Step 1: Get clear on what you desire to call in. You absolutely must know without a doubt what your heart and soul desires. Not from a mind place or because someone told you to want it, but because your heart just cannot imagine living a life without this particular experience. Once you have absolute clarity about what you truly desire, write it down and date it. Make a commitment in that moment to have what you desire and to allow it into your life because it is important to your life purpose, happiness and fulfillment (as a former commitment-phobe, this was terrifying for me, but a huge relief once I allowed myself to commit to what I desired!).

Step 2: Get your soul aligned so that what you want can come in. The minute you make this commitment, you may observe a host of resistances appear after an initial high. Resistance comes in many forms, but it can often look like: getting sick, having injuries or general malaise and crankiness. You may also observe fears appearing out of seemingly nowhere and negative self-talk. You may notice that people you had considered supporters scoffing when you share your intended desire. All of this occurs for one reason and one reason only — to show you that you have fears/traumas/negative conditioning that is not in alignment with your heart’s desire. In fact, if you’re like most people, you have conditioning that says you cannot have what you desire! But, not to fear. This is no biggie — you’re human and this is just part of the deal as a soul who is here to evolve. So, what to do? Get that ish cleared out. Work with a practitioner in an individual and/or group setting who specializes in Soul alignment. It is imperative that this individual resonates with you and you feel they genuinely are holding the highest light for you. Receive regular sessions so that as you evolve the fears/conditioning/limiting beliefs stay at a minimum and you can soar. Pair this with a daily meditation and spiritual practice and watch out world — you are flying HIGH!

Step 3: Detach from the outcome and have fun. Let the Universe bring your desire at the exact perfect and divine time. This is often the toughest part though. We humans are sometimes really good at doing and not so skilled at letting go and allowing. But it is often the most critical part of the equation. You know what you desire, you’ve identified and begun to clear the aspects within you that say you “can’t,” now you need to chill out and have fun! Go dancing, go for a walk outside, celebrate with people who love and support you — just get out there and have a blast. When you find yourself trying to “figure” out how your desire will appear and when, go back to having fun and distracting yourself. Taking a nap is sometimes the best thing you can do — let your body-mind relax and let the Universe do the heavy lifting. Make it your personal intention to master allowing. You’ve asked, you’ve aligned, now play!

Making the above three steps a practice with any desire is one of the most powerful ways to live the life of your dreams.

So what do you have to lose? Give it a shot!

Posted by Audrey Gates in Uncategorized Read More

2014-08-07-awesomenessYou are awesome. Innately, wholly and totally, you are an amazing human being. In fact, there is no one on this planet just like you. You have gifts to give to your friends, family, community and the world that no one else can give and you have a special perspective that no one else holds. You are uniquely and completely awesome.

Yet, you forget this divine fact every day.

You may choose thoughts, words and actions that don’t adequately shine your brightest light. You may beat up on yourself and/or others for perceived “wrongs.” You may forget how awesome you are and get pulled into a not-good-feeling drama.

But that’s okay, because in any moment you can choose a new thought, word or action. You can walk away from a not-good-feeling drama and into a new energy that does feel good to you — just like that. Imagine: out of a drama and into a hot bath with candles, sea salts and a glass of champagne with Sade crooning in the background.

You see, you get to choose. You don’t get to choose it all (that wouldn’t be fun anyway, and besides the Universe loves to surprise and delight us with more awesome-ness!), but you do get to choose how you feel, how you react and how you frame what is occurring in your life.

And because you get to choose, you have a huge range of options for how to get yourself back into awesome.

Try this out:

Step 1: Not feeling awesome? It isn’t like you have to avoid feeling your not-good-feelings, but there is a way you can feel it and let it go so you can be back in awesome-ville sooner rather than later. Identify what you are feeling and let the wisdom of your body guide you. Easy peesy, super great method for doing so here.

Step 2: Ask for love and light to be sent to you. You can ask out loud to your Higher Power, text a close friend, or post on one (or all) of your social media accounts for love and light. Be sure to stay out of the story of the not-awesome feelings. Engaging in a conversation about the drama (big or small) only keeps the drama activated which means you’re just bound to feel more of the ish. Avoid that icky pattern by simply requesting love and light and watching as you are transformed through positive support from those around you.

Step 3: Go do something fun. Distract yourself. Dance, go for a walk, create a painting, listen to your favorite, feel-good tunes. Get off the subject of aggravation and not-good-feeling feelings and focus instead on a subject that you have ease and flow around. Watch a funny video clip — there’s a reason why ridiculous animal videos do so well on YouTube — they are funny and we need to lighten up and laugh! If it’s genuinely fun and uplifting for you — do it. Note: Eating a box of cookies is not having fun. But eating one really yummy cookie is — so find your balance and honor what feels fun to you in body-mind-spirit.

And then, somewhere between enjoying one delicious snicker doodle and shaking it to Iggy Azalea, you’ll remember that you are absolutely, positively, awesome.

Once the return to awesome occurs, you are then realigned with giving the gifts only you can give and having the most stellar life experience that you are meant to have.

And that’s pretty awesome.

Posted by admin in Uncategorized Read More

I used to think money was bad. I had been told by religion, New Age spirituality, society and my family that being rich was a “bad” thing, part of the “ego” and the opposite of spiritual.

But as it so turns out, being rich isn’t bad at all. In fact, I’ve discovered that true spiritual alignment means living one’s soul’s purpose and when you’re truly living your soul’s purpose you are rich — like cash money rich. And if you’re not living a rich life, you aren’t quite up to speed with the fullness of who-you-really-are.

Because who-you-really-are lives in wealth and abundance in the fullest sense, every single day.

I’m here to tell you that it is absolutely your natural state of being to live rich and I’m going to give you 3 tips to help you connect to your own ability to do so, right this very minute.

I’ve learned this not only in my only journey with money — from living in poverty to now living in wealth and abundance, but also what I’ve watched as my clients have done the same, and all by following these tips:

1. Money is energy and energy is everything. All of the great masters knew this — Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles, Florence Shovel Shinn, including modern day masters — Michael Jordan, Oprah, Wayne Dyer — just to name a few. To become rich, you must acknowledge this above truth and begin to shift your perception of money. Understand that in order to attract rich living, you must begin to work with your own energy field and learn to work with the laws of the Universe as they pertain to every aspect of life, including money. This alone will radically transform your life.

2. Connect to what rich living looks like for you. Through doing my own personal soul alignment work, I became crystal clear about what rich living looks like for me. And yes it involves celebrating, champagne and first-class travel along with writing spiritual romance novels, facilitating transformative soul alignment sessions and being truly, madly, deeply in love with my life. Do this simple exercise to get more connected to what rich living truly means for you:

1) Choose a song that makes you feel fantastic. It should be upbeat so that it fills your body-mind-Spirit with possibility. Right now for me it’s “Happy” by Pharrell, “Best Day of My Life” by American Authors, “I’m on Top of the World” by Imagine Dragons and the “Good Life” by One Republic.
2) Tap Cortices.
3) Sit somewhere comfortable. Turn on your song of choice, close your eyes.
4) Take 4-7 deep belly breaths, with the focused intention of connecting to rich living for yourself.
5) Call forth images of you living your richest life. Let the music carry you and notice what images pop in.
6) Then, write down in a notebook/journal what images came forth. Which ones surprised you, which ones felt like fear creeping in that you want to release, etc. Investigate it all.

3. Be intentional. Now that you know living rich is all about energy and you have a clearer vision of what rich living looks like to you, you’re ready to set some intentions that you’ll take action on. The only way to get to where you want to be is by setting clear intentions and taking inspired action towards them. Write out a list of 5-10 intentions for living rich — use the experiences from the above exercise to support this. Be specific. How much money would you like to make? What other rich experiences are you calling forth? It can be as simple as receiving a spa treatment, with the intention of having 1-2 a month or upgrading to first-class for your next flight. Notice what feels most in alignment for you and begin to make those aspects a part of your current reality in some form or another. This is especially powerful if done on the New Moon when the energy is ripe for creating.

Implement the above 3 tips today and watch as your experience of wealth and living rich shifts into a higher frequency.

We all deserve to live a truly rich life. But it’s up to us to allow it to happen. Will you?

Have tips that you swear by? Leave them in the comments below.

For more about Heather Strang, visit here.

Connect with Heather on Facebook, Twitter, and join her email newsletter.

Posted by admin in Uncategorized Read More

The news of George Clooney’s recent engagement to Amal Alamuddin seemed to ripple into the far corners of the Western world shocking everyone, including myself. I mean, could it really be true? Could the ultimate bachelor suddenly have decided that “forever love” was now in fact for him?

It seems as though it is true.

But hold on, because I’m about to shock you further. You see, I am quite certain that Clooney’s recent engagement is not just about Clooney. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that it has meaning for every single one of us in the Western world. So stick with me here, this theory might not be as crazy as you think.

Below is my take on why George Clooney’s engagement is a win for all of us:

1. Clooney represents the archetypal energy of what it means to be masculine in our culture. Think about it: Clooney represents what those in our culture consider the standard when it comes to being masculine. He’s cool, calm and collected — seemingly under all circumstances, good-looking, charming, sexy, confident, un-tie-down-able, ambivalent about commitment, intelligent, rich, always in control and dates much younger women. Over time, his grey hair and wrinkleshave actually made him sexier. When it comes to an icon of what it means to be a man — Clooney rules in our culture. And he has been revered as not only the sexiest man but also the sexiest life-long single man. That’s a huge message to men and women everywhere. Clooney’s choice to shift out of forever-bachelorhood into a committed, long-term marriage is a signal to all of us about the turning tide of the role of the masculine in our culture. That’s how powerful Clooney’s energy is. Expect more “single-forever” men to follow suit and go Clooney on us! Win!

2. Clooney’s choice of a successful, yet feminine woman is a sign of a huge cultural shift in the masculine and feminine coming together. Let’s face it: Clooney can have any woman he desires. The tiniest, shiniest lady on the planet if he so chooses. Instead, he chose a woman who is a human rights lawyer, who has a successful career that supports the bettering of the world and who is also a very beautiful, feminine woman. When a masculine archetype chooses an equally powerful divine feminine to be his partner, it creates a more solid and stable partnership that has a ripple effect throughout our culture. Two powerful people with a focus on creating a better world can have far more impact than just one. It also serves as an inspiration for more of us to come together with equally powerful partners to support the enhancement and betterment of our world. Success, for everyone!

3. Single and partnered folks everywhere need to celebrate — committed partnership is the new single. Up until now, Clooney’s freedom as an eternally single man was esteemed both by him personally and in the media. What he and many have discovered is that the greatest freedom occurs through and from deep loving. The only way to truly be free is to open our hearts to another in total vulnerability and love. Everyone from Jesus to Paulo Coelho has been telling us this for centuries. Yet still, an immature part of our culture hung on to a fantasy that being unattached in heart meant greater play and freedom. When one of our main masculine archetypes who loved to proclaim his power as a single man now chooses greater and deeper loving and commitment — watch for the rest of the Western world to follow. Married people can relax into a greater commitment with their partners while single people can open their hearts to allow true commitment in. Everyone wins!

Our cultural icons are our cultural icons because they have important messages to reflect back to us. Think of them as our modern-day royalty. They show us what we believe and where we’re at, good, bad or otherwise, and they give us an opportunity to shift into a higher frequency of alignment with who we really are. George Clooney is simply one example of this. Having made such a name for himself as a forever bachelor, his choice for marriage can have a wonderful, positive impact on all of us.

So go out there and pull a Clooney. Propose to that man/woman you love, spend more time in heart-centered connection with your partner, allow yourself to see the gifts that truly loving another brings. Relationships are our most important containers for spiritual growth. Looks like even Clooney knows this now.

For more from Heather Strang, visit here

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I grew up a “girly girl” in rural Oregon. This was not considered cool at all. I was told to be tough, stop feeling so much and that the key to my happiness, ultimately, was to be so independent I didn’t need a man. I remember, as a teenager and in my early 20s, even hearing that I needed to “find a man who loved me more than I loved him.”

As a deeply feminine woman, these were almost impossible pills to swallow. I felt things, deeply. I loved luxury and didn’t want to get dirty and toughen up. I valued being independent, but hated the thought that my options were to either let my relationship define me (from my grandmother’s generation) or be so tough I only attracted a man who followed me around like a lost puppy (the wounded feminine from my mother’s generation).

Through following my connection to my soul and higher consciousness, I was guided to this knowing and this deep appreciation within me. (I love that a man speaks so clearly what has been in my heart since I was born into this life):

While it is obviously healthy for every man and woman to learn to become whole and independent, it is self-destructive for a woman to try to lessen the import of relationship in her life. If she has a feminine sexual essence, the desire for the flow of love is at her core, no matter how dedicated she is to her career or other activities. Without a deep and loving intimacy – with a partner or with the divine – she hurts. It will never work for her to try to quell the pain by absorbing herself in her career, her art or her friends. If she has a feminine essence, she must honor herself by owning her deep desire for the flow of love in her heart… Our culture has become so anti-feminine that many women are trying to deny their feminine core desires and adopt the masculine way of dedication to mission. By denying their feminine essence, such women are predisposing themselves to emptiness of heart, depression and bodily symptoms of disease. — David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

Being the tough, independent woman (love you, Beyoncé, but that song is now in the old paradigm canon) doesn’t actually work. Read more about my experience in my most recent HuffPost piece here. It makes us sick and tired and it forces us to deny our core truth — we love to love. We love to love our family, our pets, our plants, Mother Earth, our friends, our homes, our bodies and our intimate partner.

In fact, if we have a core feminine essence and we aren’t doing this, we aren’t experiencing the fullness of our being, in this body, at this time.

We are currently in a mid-paradigm shift, evolving from our grandmother’s dependence on their men to survive and away from the 50-50 or overly independent, feminine girl power which yielded a lot of disease, disharmony and not much sex for anyone and into an empowered feminine/empowered masculine paradigm that allows each individual — regardless of gender — to embrace their primary sexual essence (masculine or feminine) and lead from there.

So, now that we know that tough girls finish last — how can we live at the top in our core feminine expression?

• We let ourselves love.
• We let ourselves love with the fullness of our hearts.
• We notice where we hold back, we notice where we guard and we open our hearts further into loving.
• We speak our love, we share our love, we do not resent or recoil when the recipients of our love are not as open to receiving as we desire (whether this is a stranger on the street or the man/woman in our bed). We see them as a reminder of where we are guarded and we step into loving them ever further.
• We use our divine feminine powers to conjure, attract and connect in the energetic realms knowing our work from our soul space has more power than any work from our mental space.
• We bathe in luxury and love.
• We adorn ourselves in self-care (massages, hair care, nails, energy alignment, flying first-class, luxurious sheets and goods — essentially anything and everything that makes us feel like a queen), and we allow our hearts to open further and wider in order to love from the beauty of our divine feminine essence.

Now, I’m not going to lie, this can be terrifying for those of us who were told time and again that we needed to be tougher. But this is the role for those of us who feel called to live from our divine feminine essence. Ladies, you know who you are, and if you’ve read this far, you are most likely called to this path.

Life is giving me more and more opportunities to practice this — in intimate partnership and in my everyday life. No more powering through, no more withdrawing or isolating. Our divine feminine demands more from us, and honestly, so do the people in our lives. They need us in our loving, feminine expression; they need us no longer making excuses about why we need to be “independent” and instead, stepping into loving interdependence.

Try it out this week and see what happens! Report back on what you discover. And remember, you are not alone. We are in this together, soul sisters!

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I was born a woman. But, I had no clue about what it meant to truly be a woman. Instead, I learned from the well-meaning women in my life that being a woman meant:

• Sucking it up and working hard because the man in your life wasn’t going to be around to help.
• Either crying on the floor in a corner of self-defeat or being so tough nothing could affect you.
• Being available for sex whenever your man wanted it. And then hating and resenting him for it, and telling your girlfriends all about it.

None of this was on purpose of course. No one taught my mother or her mother or her mother before her how to be a woman. They had been generations upon generations focused solely on survival. They were merely trying to keep food on the table, a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs. They didn’t know that there was a deeper calling within them, a part of them that could manifest all of the above with greater ease than slogging through it.

The women featured on television or in the movies were of no help to me either. Stepford housewives with no interest in sex, hot, sexy messes or tough cookie man-eaters — were all I had to choose from. I took a look at all of that nonsense and figured it was safer to be a masculinized woman than it was to be truly feminine. It seemed like those women just got beat to shreds.

So instead, I beat myself to shreds. I worked incredibly hard, I choked back my tears, I pretended I didn’t care. I talked trash about men and women unlike me because that was what I had seen growing up and all that I knew to do. And I did all of this until my body, 7 years ago, had enough and gifted me with a large cystic tumor on my left ovary.

For those that know holistic medicine, you know that the left side represents the feminine. And that ovaries represent a woman’s connection to her sexuality and sensuality (among other things). Talk about a message from my body and a call to action to connect to my feminine.

Fortunately, I was too exhausted to argue and it was then that I began the journey of reclaiming my divine feminine self — a self I did not know and had never seen demonstrated but knew I had to find buried deep within myself.

So, when I read Bryan Reeves recent article “No One Ever Taught Me How to be a Man,” and after years immersing myself in my own reclamation of my feminine and then sharing with other women what I learned, I realized that:

No one had ever taught me how to be a woman. Seeing that men also faced this same conundrum and call to reclaim their sacred masculine inspired me.

What would the world look like if each of us went within and reclaimed our core essence of either masculine or feminine?
What would happen if we nurtured that divinity within our self and brought it to our relationship with ourselves, with friends and with our romantic partner?

Can you imagine the possibilities?!

And while what being a woman (or for Bryan’s readers what being a man) looks like is different for every one — one thing is the same — you can only know this truth through deep connection with who you really are. By going within and asking the big questions, the questions that can inevitably lead you to a reclaiming of the woman that you are deep within.

If you feel called to reclaim your core, divine feminine essence, below are some simple steps you can take right now, today to begin or deepen this journey to know Her.

• Ask to know Her. It’s simple. Say it out loud — in your car, walking down the street, when you get out of bed in the morning. Ask to be connected to that core divinely feminine part of you. Ask to feel Her aliveness within you.

• Move out of action and into attraction. The feminine knows how to call forth and attract all that she desires (from her deep connection to who-she-really-is) into her life experience.

• Meditate. Meditate silently or guided. It doesn’t matter. Connect to your divine feminine energy by placing both of your hands on your pelvis as you meditate. See a glowing red orange ball of light that gets bigger and brighter with every inhale.

• Be soft in your movement. Drop the hard core workouts for those that bring you into your body in the soft, deeply feminine way that only a woman can. Dance, stretch, walk, play, have sex. Feel yourself in your body fully during these movements.

• Cook a meal. Not because you have to but because you want to create something. Try a new recipe; play with what you’re making.

• Work less. Block out time in your schedule to rest, connect with those you love, be in nature and nurture your body.

• Let go of taking in media — television, movies, Internet — that promote masculinized or helpless female archetypes. Release any consumption of violence. Choose media that showcases empowered divine feminine women with sacred masculine men. (And please post these movies or shows in the comments below so we can all benefit from watching them.)

• Talk to your body. Place one hand on your heart and one on your pelvis. Breathe into both, ask your body what it wants you to know about your feminine self. Listen until a thought, a knowing or a sensation arises in your body. Breathe deep and let the messages come in.

So, no one taught me how to be a woman and if you’re reading this article, maybe no one taught you either. But we can teach one another, we can teach ourselves through the wisdom that lies in our body and we can transform the way women are in this world — and therefore transform the world.

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