07 Mar / March Reflections: When Guidance Counters What We Want
And since I wasn’t allowed to celebrate birthday’s growing up (yes, I was that kid sitting in the library during all the holiday and birthday parties, courtesy of being part of the Jehovah’s Witness organization), birthday’s are a BIG thing for me now. In fact, I celebrate for my entire birthday week. Some think this is over the top, but for a girl who felt like she was continually missing out on celebrating, it’s a must for me.
So, I love planning celebrations and ways to treat myself. I absolutely love creating my life.
But, sometimes…sometimes I get the feeling that it isn’t all up to me. Especially when I receive guidance that is NOT what I want to hear. And this, my friends, is very difficult for me. I’m a manifester, a creator, a woman in control of her life. Right? Right? Well, maybe not…
In fact, when I reflect on the most amazing events and experiences in my life, they are usually ones that I didn’t have any control or input in. For instance:
- Going to John of God, which set me on a path of deeper healing and wholeness. But I would never have gone had I not had a tumor on my left ovary.
- Moving to Kauai where I wrote my first book, Anatomy of the Heart.
- Writing a romance novel.
- Having said romance novel optioned as a film.
- Becoming a BodyTalk practitioner.
- Facilitating courses, healing circles and retreats (more on that to come soon!).
That’s right, I did not intentionally manifest any of the above.
Here’s what input I did have: I knew that I wanted to live from my soul – that I wanted my soul to guide me, that living from my mind was making me crazy and sick (this insight came after tumor on ovary). I knew I wanted to write and support others healing (I thought this would mean writing non-fiction books and being a coach/therapist. Ha! Shows you what I know.).
So, I asked first and foremost to live from my soul’s guidance and then I followed every sign that came in. And wouldn’t you know it – all of those signs led to the above unfolding.
By now you’d think I would be pretty good at following the guidance/signs and going with them – trusting and knowing that they are for my highest good.
Well, you would be wrong.
I still resist the guidance I get! In fact, it took me double the time to write The Quest because I spent most of the time resisting it, telling myself what a stupid idea it was to write a romance novel. And when recently the Universe was sending me an abundance of signs to chop my hair off, I said, “Absolutely not!”
But the signs kept coming – a client who is highly intuitive telling me she had a message for me, that I had to cut my hair short. My boyfriend saying that I should cut my hair short because it would look so good on me (wait, what??), seeing a gal with curly brown, short hair dance by me at ecstatic dance and noticing the thought pop into my mind, “that looks so good and free.”
Yup. My guidance was saying it was time to cut my hair.
But, I didn’t want to.
I was very attached to my beautiful, long hair. It made me feel pretty. I had gorgeous blonde streaks in it to lighten my face. I thought that’s what made me attractive. (And I had to do a whole much of unraveling on this – how does hair make one attractive? Crazy limiting belief!)
But, when I sat with this in meditation, the response was strong and clear – the hair had to go. I resisted this guidance for 2 weeks. Then, while in meditation one evening as I asked, “why?!” I heard that in the long hair contained the old Heather. The Heather that was being released. And that throughout my life I would grow my hair and cut it off because the hair contained memories of who I used to be, of who I no longer was.
Finally, I surrendered.
When my sister Amanda (the most fabulous stylist ever!), took the first big cut to my hair (lopping off more than 9 inches), I screamed (half-jokingly of course). Then we both laughed. And then I looked in the mirror.
It was the hair I was supposed to have.
Since then, the details for my BodyTalk sessions seem to come in with increased speed, my meditation and vortex creation more in flow and life has picked up to a whole new speed of awesomeness.
I had no idea something as simple as hair could have such a profound impact.
More importantly, it was just another reminder that our inner guidance always knows best. Always, no exceptions.
So, what guidance are you receiving that you’re resisting? What continual nudges are you getting that you keep turning away from?
Please don’t avoid it any longer. Your highest good awaits and it exceeds every dream you’ve ever had.
All my love,
P.S. To see the new do, check out my Cortices video. Updated pictures for my website and novels will be out in early April. xo