As I tear apart what we created
I am reminded vine by vine
You were never really mine.
Old photos tell the story well
Me, the man I loved and the man who wanted to love me.
The man who withdrew into his own world
Never inviting me, never wanting to share
The pain was too deep
And I imagined that all he felt was despair.

You aren’t ever coming back
I remind myself, my hands digging into the soil
Like it’s a pound of flesh.
You won’t ever be near me again
I throw the dirt, hard.
It scatters, going no where
But all over me.

And that’s how you are for me,
Gone but everywhere
Lying all over my soul, in all my cells
To the point I can’t breathe.
I continue to tear away at what we created
Sure that somehow its destruction will put an end to the pain in my heart.

-Heather Strang

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