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NaPoWriMo Day 17: Tulips

Tulips When did I stop believing? Stop believing that life could be peachy I don't remember the moment, but it is here now, in this quiet cafe sitting opposite you with a pile of shoe-string fries and Heinz ketchup When you say that thing you say You know the one The one where I am stupid and you, you are so much smarter Suddenly, I am lost I am no longer me I am a reaction of who I have pretended to be I know the rules, the tools, the way to appropriately handle this The love needed to surround and dissipate this scenario But, I cannot reach it Awash with emotion, my appetite recedes My throat closes, my arms cross The fields of tulips cannot help me now So I drive, far and long and hard Until I am tired I go where I always go when I don't know where to go - a bookstore Flip through Vogue, read of SJP's glamorous life And then realize she is sort of crazy It makes me drive back home to you To remember all the grown-up words and love that I couldn't access before To whisper your name, stroke your hair and tell you the only thing worth knowing I love you.